The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are busy packing up their Montecito home in California and relocating to the UK within days, with the Cotswolds likely to be their new base.
Even if it isn’t their forever home – as reports sugest it could be as soon as six months to a year before they move to Australia or Canada – what will be high on their to-do list, along with buying Prince Archie, seven, and Princess Lilibet, five, new pristine school uniforms for their local pre-prep and prep schools and shipping the rescue dogs over – will be the need to relaunch themselves socially and regroup in English high society.
But it’s far more complicated than the usual “Hey, we’re back! Can’t wait to see you!” or “Fancy popping over for a cup of tea?”
A wedge has been driven so deep into the heart of the royal family with the falling out of Prince Harry and Prince William since Megxit six years ago that it will be dividing their friendship groups into a revved-up version of are you in Team Sussex or Team Wales? This could result in two rival royal courts – one in the Cotswolds and the other at Windsor.
How Harry and Meghan’s return will play out is yet to be seen – but there are already factions beginning to emerge (Reuters)But while it may be being touted as a grab-your-popcorn moment for outsiders, this kind of divisive rhetoric about taking sides is childish and deeply harmful in a family estrangement situation. No matter the bravado to the outside world, those at the centre are usually suffering from an immense amount of pain, and the last thing they need is people to add to that pain by taking sides.
Just look at the other public family war playing out in the spotlight in Team Brooklyn vs Team Beckham.
Brooklyn posted a lengthy Instagram post in January detailing grievances against his parents, Victoria and David, accusing them of caring more about Brand Beckham than love, and accusing Victoria of “hijacking” his planned first dance with his wife Nicola Peltz at his wedding in 2022, and dancing with him “very inappropriately”.
It’s now all about who gets the most likes when they post on Instagram – the Beckhams on their yacht or Brooklyn loved up with Nicola?
And as Prince Harry touches down on UK soil, mutual friends and family will be in an impossible situation of who they talk to, with some siding with Prince William as the heir – rather than picking Harry, the spare.
Team Sussex vs Team Wales is reaching fever pitch now. And I recognise what a painful place this will be for both brothers, whatever their argument with each other
Perhaps it will be out of duty, but many of them will feel torn in half by the fallout since Harry and Meghan stepped down as senior working royals and spilt the beans on the royal family live on TV with Oprah, in a Netflix series and in Harry’s memoir Spare.
Last month, however, Harry met with his father King Charles at Highgrove along with Meghan and his children, marking the first time the King had seen his grandchildren in four years.
It’s been quite another matter with Prince William, however; the two brothers have not been on speaking terms since the late Queen’s funeral in September 2022.
Harry and Meghan’s return will be a difficult situation for William and Kate to navigate (Reuters)That’s why Team Sussex vs Team Wales is reaching fever pitch now. And I recognise what a painful place this will be for both brothers, whatever their argument with each other.
I am estranged from my half-siblings since my father died in 2024 when we all fell out over his will – and long before then there was much tension and division between us all. There are those closer to my half-siblings whom I know not to contact – and many on my side who are in my so-called camp. But a few old family friends and relatives in my extended family, I simply never hear from anymore, which I assume is either because they didn’t want to take sides or they are secretly on the team of my half-siblings.
But the idea of family gatherings such as funerals and christenings fills me with dread. I don’t want to be the bore who tries to swing favour my way by doing the rounds of visiting relatives up and down the country, or find myself involving innocent bystanders in a family feud that dates back to sibling rivalry from childhood.
But the Sussexes, who may be hoping to get some sort of freelance role within the royal family being dubbed “private royals-plus”, will be desperate for an iron-clad inner circle to look popular and, maybe, let off steam.
Certainly in Team Harry is Geri and Christian Horner, who it has been revealed invited the Sussex’s over for lunch at their Cotswold home during their last UK visit in July and are set to be their neighbours, as well confidantes, with a source telling The Daily Mail: “Geri is absolutely buzzing about the relationship – and she’s loved being involved from the inside in their return to the UK.”
Geri and Christian Horner are firmly in Team Sussex after advising them on their UK move (Reuters)Princess Eugenie and her husband Jack Brooksbank will no doubt be at the end of the phone as the Sussexes make the big move – the two couples both have holiday homes in Portugal at the Costa Terra Golf and Ocean Club in Melides, and remain close.
But on the ground, the Sussexes have key players in Team Harry, including Archie’s godfather, the ex-Army officer Charlie van Straubenzee, and Harry’s former nanny Tiggy Legge-Bourke (now Pettifer).
According to reports, Harry’s old friend Arthur Landon will invite the Sussexes to the annual village fete he hosts at Faccombe, by his ancestral home on the nearby Hampshire-Berkshire border, later this month.
The trickiest part will be with the mutual friends that Harry and William share
Other guests may include James Blunt – who Harry still counts as a good friend – as well as Guy Ritchie, who reportedly wanted to help Meghan back into the acting world with a part in his Netflix series The Gentlemen, but has since withdrawn the offer due to the negative attention it attracted.
There are also the Spencers – his mother Diana, Princess of Wales’s family – including his aunts Lady Jane Fellowes and Lady Sarah McCorquodale, who have stuck by Harry through thick and thin.
But the trickiest part will be with the mutual friends that Harry and William share. Thomas van Straubenzee, who is considered William’s best friend and is godfather to Princess Charlotte, is also reportedly in touch with Harry, which might work when Harry lived across the pond, but isn’t so easy on William’s doorstep.
Prince George’s godfather, Hugh Grosvenor, the Duke of Westminster – one of Britain’s richest men – is already a main player in Team Wales. However, in 2024 he invited both brothers to his wedding, but Harry declined diplomatically as he could see how awkward it would have been, according to reports.
Hugh Grosvenor invited both Harry and William to his wedding to Olivia Henson in 2024 (PA)The Middleton family will be forming a protective circle around William and Kate during what will be a fast-developing situation when Harry moves home.
There are also a few celebrity friends in Team Wales – David Beckham and tennis champion Roger Federer. More friends and family may try not to come out of the woodwork, because they simply don’t want to be part of a Team Sussex vs Team Wales turf war.
“When a family becomes estranged, taking sides can deepen the fracture,” says family psychologist Kathleen Saxton and author of the upcoming Sly and Mighty: How To Recognize, Resist and Rise Above Toxic Power. “But silent by-standing can also be painful too.”
The kindest and bravest position is often that of the gentle enquirer, she adds. “Someone willing to listen without gossip, to understand without inflaming and, when safe, to build a bridge without forcing reconciliation. This is not interference,” she adds. “It is the quiet balm of compassionate mediation, offered to the people on both sides.”
Family estrangement can be profoundly difficult for friends and the wider family, with the fallout often spreading far beyond the original relationship.
“People may feel pressured to choose sides, become messengers or repeatedly validate one person’s version of events,” she says. “This can create a wider emotional system in which everyone becomes invested in the conflict, unintentionally fuelling it and making reconciliation more difficult.”
Detachment can help, she advises, but it should not mean indifference or abandonment. And she warns against “bystanderism” – a social and psychological phenomenon where people are less likely to help an individual in need when other people are present than when they are alone, which can also cause psychological harm.
Instead, friend groups and wider family should take a more pragmatic approach. “It means stepping out of the drama while remaining compassionate and resisting the demand to decide who is entirely right or wrong.”
She adds: “A helpful friend, however, should not force reconciliation, minimise genuine harm, or treat neutrality as more important than safety.”
People may feel pressured to choose sides, become messengers or repeatedly validate one person’s version of events,” says family psychologist Kathleen Saxton
That’s why we should stop creating teams. It’s time we moved away from playground politics and focused on helping build bridges.
Of course, both Harry and William need their own friendship groups – who doesn’t? But I’m backing Team Healing. In this British Game of Thrones, nurturing rival courts that foster resentment will only add new animosities that pour oil onto the bonfire. In that situation, everyone loses.
